Do less. Become more.

We, women, know best how we feel those couple of days of the month and we’ve been bombed with information on how to “improve” our mood or feel less pain. What almost no one talks about and I’ve only discovered a couple of years ago,

it literally changed my life – cyclical living.

Book review “DO LESS” Kate Northrup

This was a part of my awakening process so as it usually happens, everything comes at you at the same time. Having multiple businesses feels good…. until it doesn’t anymore.

As life got more stressful, my periods got more painful.

I was juggling long hours at work in my own restaurants with my hypersensitivity, pushing my limits every day. After the holiday madness was over and I got my New Year’s resolutions all set for 2020, my body screamed at me and I crashed. I couldn’t move and was on a verge of burnout. NOW I know that.

Being an entrepreneur and a people pleaser, my needs were never at the top of my priority list, but the time came when something had to change. The universe was playing along and voila – a pandemic hit the Earth. There was no way around it anymore and I was obliged to STOP! 

How to plan your life around your period

Many books and classes were my distraction and a way out from what was going on in the world as I chose not to get involved. 

Kate Northrup’s “Do less” seemed the most appropriate for starting this new way of living that was forced on us, and boy – was it life-changing! 

After learning about my hypersensitivity, I have already adjusted my lifestyle a lot, or I thought I did.

I said NO to more events and gatherings, I spent a lot more time in nature and outdoor activities, but during all of that, I felt guilty. I always felt like I was supposed to be somewhere else, doing something MORE important. Anyways….

TIME BENDER 

I loved the book from the beginning!

She starts by explaining this different perspective on time, our most valuable asset. 

In ancient Greece they had 2 words for time: Chronos and Kairos. Chronos is chronological time that we measure in a linear way (seconds, minutes….), but Kairos is the one that designs our reality. Chronos is quantitive and Kairos is all about quality. Where one talks about the passing of time and describes time numerically, the other is all about the quality of personal experience. Kairos is in charge of creativity and endless possibilities, but our culture wants to focus on Chronos and the passing of time. Therefore, sooner or later in our lives, we come to the point of regret and sadness for the time we missed

This perspective offers an opportunity to see the relativity of time and that, with a little perception shift, we can create so much more of it instead of falling into the trap that we are running out of it. 

We can bend time and choose not to rush. 

Rituals are one thing that has helped humanity be more connected and live in the moment, so let’s slow down and celebrate changing of the seasons, for example. Gather with like-minded people and practice being present, that’s all it takes to free yourself from this slavery-based trap.

Time as Circular vs Linear 

When we look at the time chronologically (linear) we easily get an impression of not having enough time, whereas looking at it as circular you realize you are always moving back towards the beginning of a new day.

Most of us have never experienced that level of relaxation, but once you start allowing the slower pace to dictate your lifestyle, everything shifts. You become more aligned with yourself and you bring harmony into your life.

CYCLICAL LIVING – cycle synching

The next thing Northrup explains is the difference in the cycles of men and women. Another piece of puzzle that just fell in it’s spot perfectly.

We of course cycle hormonally every 28 days and we go through 4 different types of productivity during that time. 

Men on the other hand cycle every 24h, exactly how our society is designed to function. 

We have been gifted the blueprint on how to have a harmonious life and create peace for ourselves, yet the social norms and views made us forget all that for so long. Not to start on feminism…. 

If we would choose to listen to our menstrual and/or lunar cycle, we could easily know when to start projects, and when to rest or socialize. 

This to me was a real wake-up call! ⏰

I realized the busyness in my head wasn’t matching my reality anymore. All the pressure to clear out my to-do list, made me lose focus and fly around like a headless chicken. Taking care of my health in the gym while answering emails, wasn’t actually taking care of my health. Doing less is what actually became more important for my health.

So the 4 phases of our cycle are

• Follicular or Spring/Waxing Moon – a phase that gives us access to creative energy, energy to brainstorm, start projects, plan and dream big
• Ovulatory or Summer/ Full Moon – phase of peak energy, where we look and feel the best, feel courageous and can take on difficult conversations, set new boundaries, or go for that 1st date
• Luteal or Autumn/Waning Moon – a phase that brings focus on details, so it’s the best time for organizing, summarizing, decluttering
• Menstrual or Winter/New Moon – phase perfect for evaluating and wrapping things up. In this phase, we should pay attention to our gut feeling and listen to those messages as we are close to ourselves. Rest and recharge is the message.

Kate explained simply how organizing our activities around our period will grant us mental space to actually achieve more. Ding ding ding, achiever and competitor bell went on. 🛎

The Upward Cycle of Success

In the next chapter, she clarifies another thing – the 4 phases of a project.

• Emergence (Spring) – the time to plan and get things going
• Visibility (Summer) – the time to launch and connect
• Culmination (Autumn) – the time to wrap up and analyze 
• Fertile Void (Winter) – the time to wrap up and reflect

We run from planning (spring) to launching something new (summer), and straight back to planning a new thing and relaunching again. What happened to the last two steps? The two most important steps for growth that give us space to figure out what could be improved and readjusted.

This planet wouldn’t function without two seasons, so why did we let the hustle culture distract us from our given gift for a cyclical living? 

Rest 

To live in harmony with our internal ecosystem, we need to rest. We need to synchronize with our circadian rhythm as well, which is just nature’s way of telling us when to slow down. 

We need to do less in order to be more: more productive, creative, joyful, and enthusiastic….

Our reality is created by our habits and our habits by our beliefs, so if we would just allow ourselves to take more rest – we would recreate our whole new life. 

One of the tools she suggests is yoga Nidra, something I’ve been practicing since I was getting more aware of my HSP moments of “losing my head”. Yoga Nidra is a state of deep relaxation, sleep alike state, which reduces stress and brings back clarity. You can find plenty of free videos on youtube, it’s really worth a try.

Planning

As busy as we are, we always make time for planning things and trying to keep up with all the to-do’s which makes us multitask and puts even more stress on our shoulders. Changing the approach to planning when we learn to synchronize with our natural cycles, makes all the difference.

Instead of never-ending daily to-do lists, Kate suggests making a weekly planner. 

She also refers to the 80/20 rule as a guide to prioritizing. 

Only 20% of our actions determine 80% of our outcome, so we should focus on the 3 most important things for this week and apply the upward cycle of success. ⬆

That will give you clarity and make the rest of the scheduling easier. 

Setting boundaries and asking a couple of simple questions to ourselves is another tip. 

Ask yourself if this REALLY has to be done? If yes, does it have to be done by me and can it wait? All these answers should then be put next to your own needs for this week – how do I feel, what does my body need according to the cycle I’m currently in, and/or what phase are my projects in? 

This will help you to slowly bring more balance into your life without sacrificing your well-being.

Help!

Even if we realize there is still a lot that has to be done, its’ time for another difficult thing – asking for help.

We have been thought to determine our own worth by our ability to take care of everything on our own, but this is not true. We as humans do need each other and we often do depend on each other. 

Separating your self-worth from needing help is the first step to freedom from embarrassment. 

She does point out that it’s crucial to ask for help early so that no one is caught by surprise when it’s maybe too late in the process. Asking it often and kindly leaves no room for stress and it’s only a sign of strength, not weakness.

I really hope this book summary and my personal story inspires you to DO LESS and BECOME MORE,

 It was a relief that I found in this book that gave me peace of mind and freed me of feeling of guilt that I imposed on myself.

My peace became my new normal and I embraced it with my arms wide open. It led me to big changes in my life….one of them is starting this blog.

Hope to hear from you in the comments.

Much love,

Alex

p.s Make sure to check my other post about organizing and happiness 🙂 and get your free guide to help you start.

MY TAKEAWAYS

• PERSPECTIVE ON TIME – CHRONOS VS KAIROS
• LEARNING HOW TO LIVE ACCORDING TO MY MENSTRUAL CYCLE AND CIRCADIAN RHYTHM
• PRACTICING OF TAKING MORE BREAKS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE
• PLAN WEEKLY, 80/20 RULE
• ASK FOR HELP